I am really terrible at keeping up with the whole blogging thing. It's very hard to come home and turn the computer on when I sit in front of one for 8 hours a day. Anyway I just wanted to say how thankful I am to God for just a few things. I am thankful to God for giving me friends who are there in my darkest hours (thank you Kris). I am most thankful for the merciful God who took my grandmother while she was sleeping last night.

As we looked through pictures this evening getting me ready for my trip to Indiana to say goodbye to Nano all I could think of was after all her suffering in life she was given a peaceful ending. My grandmother was born in 1918 during WWI and I realized that she has seen Korea, Vietnam, WWII, Iraq and every other conflict we could find ourselves in. She lost the love of her life to cancer in 1952 and then lost her only daughter to the same cancer that killed her husband in 1988. She mourned her husband until the day her daughter died and she mourned her daughter until the day she died. She loved her family more than anything but could never get over the loss of her husband or daughter. She never learned how to drive, always kept left overs and never squandered anything. She loved Bingo and playing with all of her friends. She loved her grandkids and her great grand kids beyond words. She was Serbian Orthodox and a firm believer in God even after everything that happened to her. I admire her for that. I lost my faith the day my mother died.

I am very thankful for the fact that I did not have to watch her die but hate that she died alone. She is at peace now and is surely in heaven reunited with her husband and daughter.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,I am not there, I do not sleep.I am a thousand winds that blow.I am the diamond glint on snow.I am the sunlight on ripened grain.I am the gentle autumn rain.When you wake in the morning hush,I am the swift, uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circling flight.I am the soft starlight at night.Do not stand at my grave and weep.I am not there, I do not sleep.(Do not stand at my grave and cry.I am not there, I did not die!Mary Frye (1932)