I have been reminded lately that I am not keeping up with my blogging once a month. Well, February and March were not the greatest months. My Maternal Grandmother died February 27th and because my brother and I are the only living relatives, we had to make the arrangements for the burial and funeral and then we had a limited amount of time to clean out her apartment. The cleaning was not an easy task because we believe she had Alzheimer's and one of the symptoms is being a pack rat. She had hundreds of paperback romance novels everywhere. What you have to understand is her apartment is generally the size of my kitchen, dining area and family room. There were books everywhere. There were also notes everywhere. It was a difficult time but it was made much easier by my best friend in the whole wide world, Lori. I don't think we could have gotten through everything without her, her husband George and her son, Zack. I'm still trying to figure out a way to thank her for what she did for us.

Of course we weren't home but maybe a week and a half from that ordeal when Alan had to go to the emergency room. We thought it would be the normal thing (he has kidney stones). We would go in, they would take and x-ray or do a CAT Scan, give him pain meds and a bag and a half of IV fluids and then send him on his way to manage any residual pain at home. You have to under stand the man has had kidney stones since he was eighteen. He will pass a stone about every three months and then go to the emergency room about once a year. This was supposed to be no big deal. Well, apparently life cannot be that easy. When they did the CAT Scan they saw two stones in between the kidney and the bladder. For those of you who have never had a kidney stone...this is when they are the most painful. We were in the hospital that day from around 7 am to 7 pm. He did fine until the next day around 2pm when I had to take him back to the emergency room. I won't go into the details but he was in the hospital for 5 days...on the 4th day they decided to do surgery to go get the stone he did not pass (he passed one 15 min before surgery). When I say surgery, there is no incision!

Of course while he was in the hospital, I ended up spending the night for two nights and I got sick. I am still suffering after 1 Z-pack and 3 weeks but I am slowly getting better.

Hence the reason I have not blogged to a couple of months.

I am really terrible at keeping up with the whole blogging thing. It's very hard to come home and turn the computer on when I sit in front of one for 8 hours a day. Anyway I just wanted to say how thankful I am to God for just a few things. I am thankful to God for giving me friends who are there in my darkest hours (thank you Kris). I am most thankful for the merciful God who took my grandmother while she was sleeping last night.

As we looked through pictures this evening getting me ready for my trip to Indiana to say goodbye to Nano all I could think of was after all her suffering in life she was given a peaceful ending. My grandmother was born in 1918 during WWI and I realized that she has seen Korea, Vietnam, WWII, Iraq and every other conflict we could find ourselves in. She lost the love of her life to cancer in 1952 and then lost her only daughter to the same cancer that killed her husband in 1988. She mourned her husband until the day her daughter died and she mourned her daughter until the day she died. She loved her family more than anything but could never get over the loss of her husband or daughter. She never learned how to drive, always kept left overs and never squandered anything. She loved Bingo and playing with all of her friends. She loved her grandkids and her great grand kids beyond words. She was Serbian Orthodox and a firm believer in God even after everything that happened to her. I admire her for that. I lost my faith the day my mother died.

I am very thankful for the fact that I did not have to watch her die but hate that she died alone. She is at peace now and is surely in heaven reunited with her husband and daughter.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,I am not there, I do not sleep.I am a thousand winds that blow.I am the diamond glint on snow.I am the sunlight on ripened grain.I am the gentle autumn rain.When you wake in the morning hush,I am the swift, uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circling flight.I am the soft starlight at night.Do not stand at my grave and weep.I am not there, I do not sleep.(Do not stand at my grave and cry.I am not there, I did not die!Mary Frye (1932)

Wow, I get in the computer every day and read the news, check out my Yahoo groups and read Kris' blog but I just realized that it has been over two weeks since I have blogged. I usually don't get into the computer during the week because I sit in front of the computer at work for 8 hours a day but tonight is different. I guess I am just looking for comfort where I can find it. My husband is still at work preparing to be out of town for two weeks straight. I came home to find the usual message on the phone because we can't seem to keep up with our bills but this one just really bothered me. Usually when I'm this bothered, I will pull out my Bible and just let it fall open. What I read on those pages always seems to fit my situation and gives me comfort. Well, I recently bought a new Bible and wasn't really thinking when I did so. This Bible has a soft cover so when I hold it up on end, it doesn't open it just falls over. :-( I guess new isn't always better.